Love Must Trump Bullies
The Leader of The Free World is nothing more than your average middle school intimidator.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all seen it. Many of us have felt the pressure of a bully’s foot on our chest first hand.
What none of us expected was to see one in the highest rank of office but lo’ and behold, a racist browbeating ruffian still sits on his throne, using a social media platform to continue his vitriol. Spreading hate with his words, he continues to fuel fires, offering permission for the bullies of the nation to domineer in the name of a greater America.
Don’t believe my words? Take several accounts into consideration described on The Washington Post.
Stumbling upon the article, flashbacks to 7th-grade math class came flooding in. I pictured myself working quietly at my desk (see photo below) until I heard two students in close proximity begin to make malicious jokes about the weight and size of another student to the side of me (who I will refer to as “Patrick.”) The other students, aiming for humiliation, kept poking and prying with cutting words laced with venom while Patrick sunk deep into his chair, tears forming in his eyes. At the time, I wasn’t particularly close with Patrick and I mainly kept to myself unless I was spoken to but this day in particular, without hesitation or thought of repercussion, I snapped at the malicious boys in Patrick’s defense. When this incredibly shy girl suddenly showed her teeth, their eyes widened with surprise, sneering mouths shifted into awkward gaping holes, and from that day forward, they didn’t mess with Patrick in that class again.
That moment was just as much a pivotal one for me as it may have been for Patrick and his bullies. That was when I realized that my teeth weren’t merely molars and incisors, they were also daggers. That’s when I realized the power that I held.
I was bullied as a child. Extremely shy around anyone, to me there wasn’t much of a difference between extended family and strangers. I was an introvert, a keen observer and forever safe in my own head. I was afraid to say or act the wrong way and this made me a target. Between the few friends that I had and my older brother’s friends, humiliation and shame were a regular part of my week while on the receiving end of sucker punches, manipulation, girl gangs and taunting. I wasn’t pretty enough, thin enough or talented enough and if you were to ask 11 year old me, I would quietly tell you that these kids were put on earth solely to remind me of my shortcomings.
But then I met a girl in sixth grade that would forever change this for me. She showed me what it meant to not give a fuck. She showed me how to find my pillar of strength and offered her’s to me until I was courageous enough on my own. So I started, inch by inch, peeling back the layers of shame and embarrassment to stand up for the people around me. It wasn’t until I gained confidence from those incidents that I felt strong enough to stand up for myself.
Years later, while I still find myself working to continue peeling back those layers, I don’t protect myself by retreating. I face the bullies head-on. When others don’t have the strength or courage to stand up for themselves, I give my voice extra lung power to support the voices that have been minimized to whispers.
To become confident in anything, practice is key. Integrity, while sounding easily cut and dry, is full of grey areas and cracks that we tend to slip through when we are not fully engaged or aware. To continue to adhere to our ethics to the Nth degree, we have to continue to practice saying how we feel and protecting our values without fear of consequences, though there will certainly be consequences. We must move past the fear regardless.
In a world of self-care, the highest form of love for ourselves is to love the people that we share this space with.
In a world full of miniature Trumps, we’ve got to show our children how to stand up for each other. How to stand up for themselves. In a nation full of hate, we’ve got to choose love.
If you see something, speak up. For them and for you.
